let's see what i've learned so far. i've learned that God rejoices when we dream, that is, when we dare to dream. i read that from Max Lucado's newsletter about 'earthbound airborne'. now, i'm contemplating about the things that i once dreamt, but i let it go. i let it go, coz i dont have enough faith to see it coming true. some other dreams that i have, still there inside of me, but it exist for a long time coz i tune it to be not so impossible to do. or maybe i i let my dream get contaminated by my worries, so it becomes the result of my compromize.

the other thing that i've learned was from my mom. she told me that LOVE is a person .. i mean it's not a thing or a 'what'. but actually a 'who'. why? becoz love cant be divided into two. no person can be divided into two. let's face it, for all of you two timers out there .. none of the things that you're doing now gives you a whole satisfaction. what you commonly get is only confusion, restless, dissapointment, u name it. so basically, a heart that it divided in 2, will never feel any peace. you cant love a person, but still say that you love another person as well. that's totally bullshit! and u know it! love cannot be divided. period.

these two lessons that i had somehow related to each other. and the connection tells what's on my mind, and what's been bothering me the whole time. i cant really tell anddescribe it in details, but deep down i can tell, that these lessons touch my inner and revolutionize my way of thinking.

i woke up this morning, quite shocked coz my mom didnt woke me up to help her out with abbie. the truth is, abbie woke up at 3am this morning, and i cant help but wondering how my mom has to keep her company on that hour! but anyway, i finally woke and helped her only by getting the car out of the garage. that's all!!! too sleepy to do other things, since last night! and that's the big probs, i'm suppose to meet yumma online and i was extreamly tired, so i crashed. hehehehe

the other thing is, i actually has this feeling of urgency to read my bible first thing in the morning, again! and i just love that urge that's driven me. i pray, i read my bible, than i actually sing Jesus, You're my everything with my eyes closed, full focus to the One and only. i feel lifted. then comes the first test, reading adit's message on friendster, and tried real hard, to reply it without feeling mad. and u know what ... i did it!! phew!! talking about support from the High Place! hahaha ...